What's Next?

I have told myself I will only tour if I am in management. Most likely, an assistant company manager for a show. But maybe that will change.

I have told myself that I will take a job in Cleveland not in my "world" if it is something I feel OK about, in case I have to quit because something better comes along in the entertainment or touring industry with PR and event planning, or I decide to go somewhere else. But maybe that will change.

I have told myself I can get by on unemployment for a while. That will change.

I am stressed.

Some days are just fine. The days in Canada, the days when I hear my grandfather play his sax, the days with my family, the days with Kevin, and the days with my girls. Just fine.

It's when I walk into a company to give them my resume, printed on $24 dollar paper, and they tell me that they only accept resumes online (which I also did). It's when I press "send" on an email application that I have worked on for hours, and my email goes into cyberspace and I never hear from anyone.

I have worked so damn hard for the last 11 years, and I can't find what comes next.

What will it be?

I hope the Power Ball.